


for the future

by anon_drabble



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, NSFW, Smut, Werewolf AU, virgin zen, werewolf main character, werewolf mc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-27 18:51:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon_drabble/pseuds/anon_drabble
Summary: this wasn’t a request. just something i wanted to write. a couple of headcanons i have about zen. there are a lot of fics out there about zen being a werewolf but i don't see a lot where mc is the wolf. and i feel (and i seem to be alone in this one) that zen would actually be a virgin still with mc. he takes such care, warns about other men but is also afraid of his own desire. he seems to place a lot of value on the relationship so i don’t believe he’d sleep with anyone. and we know from his route that he doesn’t fall quite so hard for a lot of women. plus, he works all the time. he wouldn’t jeopardize his career by sleeping with any of the other actresses.so...this is my first attempt at nsfw too. tried to write smut. i’m really not sure about posting this at all. so i blocked out the sections of nsfw so you can read around it fairly easily. just don’t read the sections in the asterisks. i don’t know if i’ll have any other nsfw pieces after this. this is kind of me testing the waters.





	for the future

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on my tumblr: https://anon-drabble.tumblr.com
> 
> if you have any requests, feel free to send them in.

“All men are beasts.”How many times have I heard Zen say that? I’ve lost count. Zen might be right but he’s still missing something. Women can be beasts, too.

It was a lonely night. I tried everything to keep my mind off Zen but it wasn’t working. Our relationship was going so well. We loved each other and I knew I was looking forward to a future with him. But I felt guilty because while I knew almost all of his secrets, I hadn’t yet told him mine. The reason why I insisted on being alone for a few days every month. I passed the bathroom on the way to the bedroom and paused. My ears were low, giving away that sense of melancholy. But my tail had a nervous energy. I could smell Zen around my apartment and I wanted to be with him again. My paw pads kept my steps silent but my claws would get caught on the rugs. But without rugs, my claws could scratch the floors. I met my eyes in the mirror.

“Zen, will you still love me when you find out about this?”

We were still pretty chaste in our relationship. I guess chaste isn’t the right word. We were… Exploring the sexual side but it was slow. Zen would always bring up what beasts men were and he’d stop us. It always made me feel that he might not accept this side of me. That for a few days of every month, I truly was a “beast”. He made it seem like it was a bad thing but I didn’t think of it that way. When I was younger, it was a little scary because sometimes it would cause sore muscles in my growing body. But I accepted it. And before I met Zen, I even enjoyed a lot of aspects. Being able to smell and hear almost as well as a dog. I would never be as strong or fast as a wolf, nor have their keen senses, but I borrowed a fraction of their power that humans usually could only try to imagine.

The worst part was the isolation. I chose to keep it a secret from all but those closest to me. And so, I would stay in my apartment for a few days around the full moon and let it run its course. I always felt so lonely during those times. Wolves are pack animals and I think that’s part of why I get a little sad when I turn. I’m alone and the instincts inside of me want a pack.

I wanted to tell Zen and maybe still spend time with him, even when I was changed. But now I was scared to. I really did love him. And if he couldn’t accept such a big part of me, I don’t know what that broken heart would do to me.

I left the mirror and went to my bedroom. My phone was on the bedside table. There was a text from Zen, complete with a picture of him. I sighed, though it came out as partly a whine. I missed him so much. But I was afraid to call him, in case my voice sounded different. Zen’s scent was fainter in my room but it was also more maddening. He’d never been in my room so what I was smelling was the lingering traces of his scent on my clothing. A strand of his hair, maybe, that got caught on my clothes. Even the time he’d grabbed my phone and taken a picture of us together. It was like his fingerprints were lit in neon because I could smell them.

I flopped into my bed, forgetting I had a bit of extra weight. It scraped on the floor and I cringed, my ears flattening against my skill at the offensive sound. I buried my face under the pillow. Tonight would hopefully be the last night of the full moon cycle and then I could see Zen again. Finding sleep was difficult but eventually, I drifted off.

The full moon, and thus my transforming, was three nights. But sometimes, my condition would start a day or so before and last after the full moon ended. I wouldn’t transform but my hair might get rough or my nails could grow a little. Usually, if anything, my senses would get heightened and I’d feel those very faint wolf instincts. But most times, it was pretty consistently based on those three days.

When the sun awoke me the next morning, I could tell it had been a normal full moon. I was completely back to being human. Which meant I could see Zen again, finally. Still half-groggy, I dialed his number as quickly as my sleepy fingers could.

“Hello? Babe? Is that you?” His voice sounded so good in my ears.

“Zeeeeen. I want to come over this morning. Can we eat the food like the…the...um… white round chickens.” Okay, so I wasn’t much of a morning person. Zen was. He was always up at dawn to go running.

“You mean you want eggs for breakfast? Of course. Come on over and I can start making them.”

I smiled. “Zen?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, babe. Come on over and I’ll show you how much.”

My heart felt full enough to burst. Surely this man, this perfect person, could accept me for being a wolf sometimes. I was just making a big deal out of nothing. I took the fastest shower I could. I debated going all-out with the immaculate makeup, not a single hair out of place, an outfit to show off my curves, all of that. But that would take time and I wanted to see Zen so much. I compromised with a bit of a sexy outfit (I liked choosing low-cut tops around Zen because he would get flustered about it) but simple makeup. I put my hair up and left for Zen’s.

By this point, I knew I was welcome in Zen’s apartment but I still always knocked. I didn’t want to barge in. Or maybe I didn’t just go inside because I knew how bad it would be if someone just walked in on me on a full moon. When Zen opened the door, I pulled myself to him for a hug. I breathed in his scent, happy to feel the warmth of his arms as he returned the affection. I looked up at Zen with a bright smile.

“I dreamed about you last night!”

Zen pulled me away from the door so he could close it. “I know. I knew we met in our dreams last night. I’m always waiting for you.”

I still have no idea how Zen could be so cheesy and yet so honest about it all the time. I blushed out of embarrassment. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” I was still trying to get used to saying such things myself. I looked up at him and batted my eyelashes. “Kiss me?”

“Of course,” he replied, leaning down to take my lips with his own. I wanted to let myself go and drown in his kiss. it felt so nice to be loved that way, to know we could do things like this because we shared such a deep bond. I gripped his shirt tightly, not wanting him to pull away. But he did eventually. He kissed my cheek. “Breakfast first, right?”

I pouted and refused to let him go. “But I changed my mind. I want you for breakfast, Zen.”

I saw a faint splash of pink spread on his face at my words. “You’re a tease, babe,” he said, taking himself away from me.

Not for the first time, I thought it was actually him who was the tease. Why did he always try to change the subject when I mentioned being more physical? Men were beasts (including him, he said), but I was the one who was pushing. Why? Was I doing something wrong? I frowned at Zen’s refusal but did my best to bury how much it hurt.

When we sat at the table to eat, I calmed down as it was nice to just talk to him. He still flirted with me, feeding me small bites of food and complimenting me like he always did. Moments like that, more domestic times, were what I enjoyed the most with Zen. It made it almost easy to forget my doubts all over again. After breakfast, I did the dishes for Zen (it felt like a fair trade-off) and then we plopped on the couch to watch a musical. We loved to sing along. Even though Zen was much better, he always said he loved it when I sang.

“For a singer, you sure have a lousy ear,” I laughed, jabbing him with my elbow.

He caught my arm and pulled me against his chest. “No, I have a good ear. But I might be biased because it’s your voice and I love everything about you.”

My cheeks grew hot. “You can’t possibly love everything. There’s bound to be something you won’t like about me.” I tried not to think of him recoiling at the sight of my fur.

“Maybe not everything but I love even your faults because they’re a part of you and make you, you.”

*** _******************************_ ******************************************************************************************************************

 

> I sat up and placed a soft kiss on Zen’s lips. He tasted a little like breakfast still. I felt his arms slide around me and I sank into him, leaning against his chest. It wasn’t me who took things further this time but I soon felt Zen’s hands begin to wander. I gently guided one hand up my shirt, letting him touch me freely. The kiss was sloppy now but he moved his lips and I tilted my head, encouraging him to nip my neck. I loved when he bit me there a little more roughly. Our movement threw off our balance and we tumbled off the couch onto the floor. Neither of us minded and Zen never even faltered. I felt his fingers brush the underside of my breast and I gasped softly. I clutched at his shirt. This was about as far as we’d gone before. Zen usually stopped us around this point but I definitely wanted him to keep going.
> 
> I shifted underneath Zen, wanting to be closer to him. That was when I felt something warm and firm on my leg. It couldn’t have been Zen’s legs so there was only one other option, right? If Zen was getting hard, it meant he was enjoying it and maybe we could continue and finally take that step. I reached down, cupping the growing bulge between his legs. Zen groaned and pulled back from my neck, a pop sounding. I absently felt my neck and knew I’d be hiding a fresh hickey for a few days.

*** _******************************_ ******************************************************************************************************************

But Zen was sitting up, moving away from me. Again.

“Zen! Please. Stop. Why? Why can’t we continue?” I asked, doing my best to keep my voice steady.

“Men are beasts, babe. You have to be careful not to unleash a beast.”

I blushed and lowered my gaze to the floor. I tried to tell myself it was just because he didn’t know. He wasn’t meaning to tell me that being a beast made me undesirable, even if that was how I felt. “You’re not a beast,” I murmured, concentrating closely on the carpet fibers. I didn’t want Zen to see how he’d hurt me.

“I am, babe. That’s why we have to be careful.”

“But why? Zen, I’m ready. I want to. I love you and I know I definitely want to do this and wouldn’t regret it.”

This time, Zen didn’t say anything. When I glanced up, he wasn’t looking at me. Had I said something wrong?

“Zen?”

He seemed to be struggling with something and I took his hand in mine, softly stroking his knuckles with my fingers.. “I know I can tell you anything,” he began softly. “But there’s something else I haven’t told anyone. But I don’t think I can keep it from you any longer. I’m still a virgin.”

That definitely caught me by surprise and I accidentally let go of Zen’s hand. He tried to put it back at his side but I quickly grabbed it again. “Zen, really? I… I never expected that you might be... “

He nodded. “I never felt that strongly for anyone and it’s an important experience that I wanted to save for someone really important to me. I’ve done a little, mostly as far as we’ve gotten. And as for us, I love you and our relationship is stronger than the others I’ve had. I’ve thought about it a lot and I wouldn’t regret it with you. But I still need a little time. Can you continue to be patient with me?”

I threw my arms around Zen’s neck and held him tightly. “Zen, of course. Of course. I’m sorry for pressuring you. If I’d known… But of course we can go slow. We can move at any pace you’re comfortable with. I’m so glad you told me.” I breathed a sigh of relief. So it wasn’t that Zen didn’t want me.

“You...were thinking I didn’t love you, weren’t you?” Zen sounded almost heartbroken.

“No! No, it wasn’t that. I was just… scared. That you might not feel attracted to me or that I didn’t excite you. That’s all. I thought I was the only one who wanted you.”

Zen looked at me like I was crazy. “Didn’t excite me? Babe, I’ve had so many problems holding myself back around you. Every time I see you, every second, I want to kiss you. It’s not just you.” To prove his point, Zen kissed me and unleashed a fraction of the passion he’d been holding back.

*** _******************************_ ******************************************************************************************************************

> I couldn’t help but gasp in his mouth. I was caught off guard and couldn’t keep up but I felt his need and I understood. It really wasn’t just me. His hand reached up my shirt on its own this time and I felt him move my bra aside. I let out a soft sound of desire and felt Zen squeeze me. He kept kissing me and I felt my own need growing stronger. That bulge was there, practically taunting me. But I didn’t want to make Zen uncomfortable again. But I was getting swept away. My hand snaked down into my own pants and I felt myself as Zen kissed me. I was lost in my own world. I spread my legs for my fingers and groaned. Zen faltered and I felt him remove his lips but I was still going. Panting. Whining his name, my hand moving quickly between my legs. He watched, his eyes growing wide. But I couldn’t stop and I didn’t really want to. I whined again, begging for his kiss.
> 
> Zen’s lips crashed into mine and I felt his finger flick my nipple, teasing me. I wanted to scream. I renewed my vigor with my fingers and I felt Zen press his body against mine, the pressure pushing my own digits deeper inside. His hips bucked but I doubted it was because he meant to. He’d wanted and needed more time but I had my own needs and I was fulfilling them now with his help. It was frustrating to feel that he was so aroused as well and not being able to help him but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. But I found myself on the edge quickly, thanks to Zen. When he pinched my nipple and bucked his hips again, I finally felt that relief. I was gasping and panting as I came down but I broke the kiss and met Zen’s eyes. His face was flushed.
> 
> “Zen… Can I help you? It’s only fair, right?” My hand was hot and wet, as I’d just removed it. “If you’re okay with it, that is. I am if you are.”
> 
> Zen hesitated and I didn’t move. I didn’t want to force him but I hoped he might let me. He finally nodded and glanced down at his pants. I moved slowly, not wanting him to doubt or regret his decision. I unzipped him and slid my hand inside. I felt his length, my hand still slick and hot. Zen’s entire body shuddered and he let out a strangled groan. I squeezed gently, starting to pump when he grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I stopped and looked at him.
> 
> “Are you okay?”
> 
> “I changed my mind. Sorry. I don’t think I can. It’s… It was too good. I wouldn’t want to stop but I don’t want to go that far yet.”
> 
> “it’s okay, Zen. It’s fine. I promise. I’m sorry if I pushed you too far. Do you want to go to the bathroom?”

*** _******************************_ ******************************************************************************************************************

He nodded and staggered to his feet and painfully made his way to the bathroom. I felt guilty, as I had pressured him when I tended to my own needs. While  he was gone, I got him a drink and made the atmosphere as unsexy as possible. I even pulled on a sweater to cover myself up a little more. I hoped he wasn’t too upset.

After he came out, we had a normal day together. We shopped for some food for him, made plans for a few dates that week. Normal couple things. I felt bad but I didn’t get the feeling that Zen was angry with me. But seeing him get so upset, I knew now how important the matter was to him and now I could be careful.

For the next few weeks, we continued as normal. We were getting closer and had started subtly suggesting spending our lives together. Just innocent comments here and there, mostly. “When we’re in our 50s, we should go there together.” Making plans for years in the future. I wanted to spend my life with him. He never even looked at another woman when he was with me. But I still hadn’t told him yet. I was scared, still. I decided to tell him during the next cycle, which was coming up. Or I told myself I wanted to but the excuses not to came a little too easily and it kept getting put off.

The day before the full moon began, I felt the beginnings of my change. I canceled my plans with Zen for a few days. I’d tell him afterwards. This time for real. I just couldn’t bear to face him when I was actually changed. I didn’t think I could handle seeing an expression of disgust or horror when he saw me. Normally, Zen was understanding when I canceled dates but this time, he got upset. A little angry. He yelled at me. Not that Zen ever really yelled but he raised his voice, made it clear that he wasn’t happy about it this time. I hated leaving it on such a note. It wasn’t really a fight but he was angry. I tried texting him the first night but he didn’t reply.

It was hard for me to sleep. I kept thinking about Zen. I was both lonely and worried and it made my wolf side anxious. I cried a few times. Nearly caved in and called Zen but then I’d see myself or feel my fur and I would stop. After what I did, if he saw me like that, he’d definitely react badly. But it hurt so much more this time to be away from him.

The last night finally came and I texted Zen again, asking if I could see him the next day. I was desperate. He never answered. It felt like he would be breaking up with me. I tried not to think about it, not to let my heart break yet. I heard footsteps outside my door and expected the knock before it came. I ignored it. I was still covered in fur. I couldn’t answer the door as a wolf. Luckily, my lights were out so it looked like no one was home.

The person knocked again. I waited again, didn’t move, didn’t make a sound. Just go away. Please. They knocked again, more frantically this time.

“Aren’t you home? You just texted me... “ I heard the voice on the other side of the door muse. It sounded sad. It also sounded like Zen.

Zen! I frantically whipped my head around. He was here to see me! I had to let him in! But I was a wolf! Could I cover myself with something to hide it? I grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it over my head like a cloak.

“Hold on, Zen!” I called, urging my voice to sound normal and not like an animal’s. I opened the door from behind so he’d have to step inside to see me. Zen entered and I wanted to hug him and cry and apologize for everything. Once he was in, I shut the door, keeping my head hooded and facing down towards the floor. “Zen, I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so sorry. I know you’re mad at me but I am so, so sorry.” I sniffled a little, fighting tears.

“Babe? Why is it dark in here? Why are you hiding in that blanket? Are you sick? Do you need something?”

He took a step towards me and I backed away until I ran into the wall. “No! No, Zen, I’m fine. I just like the dark sometimes.” It didn’t sound exactly plausible even to me. “Um, but, Zen… Why are you here?”

Zen tried to approach me again and I tried to escape. He reached forward and grabbed my arm. I struggled to keep the blanket over my head. “You’re acting strangely. What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

I felt my heart wrench. I had to tell him. He was going to find out either way now. I felt my tail droop between my legs. “There’s…something you don’t know about me. I’m sorry, Zen. I’ve been keeping a secret from you.” I heard Zen take a step towards me again. I stood my ground but began shaking. I was afraid. “I don’t… I don’t think you’ll like this secret, Zen. You always tell me men are beasts, right? It’s… It’s not just men.” I slowly pulled the blanket down from my head. I felt my ears spring up but they were still folded partway, like I was being scolded. “I’m a werewolf…” I let the blanket fall. I was all too aware of my fur, my tail, my claws, my ears, my muzzle. Everything. He was seeing it all. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. If I saw that disgust in his eyes, I wouldn’t be able to take it.

Zen was quiet for a long time. I heard him go to sit on the couch. I sat on the floor. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything though I kept opening my mouth, trying to explain. But I couldn’t. I could tell he was having a hard time. I expected to hear him say he couldn’t handle it. That we’d break up. My tears fell at the idea.

“This ruined my idea.” I finally heard him say. I flinched, and wanted to hide. But I heard him get off the couch and come over to me. He kneeled in front of me. “I had this all planned out but now… It’s not going to work like I wanted.”

I sobbed. I couldn’t help it. I hid my face in my hands. “I’m sorry, Zen. I love you. I’m sorry. Please don’t go, Zen… “ I was babbling through my tears.

I felt his hand on my shoulder and I jerked away, partly expecting to be hit. But Zen persisted and kept his hand on my shoulder. “Hey. I’m not going anywhere. If you’d let me finish.” He rummaged through his pocket and held something in front of me. I peeked open my eyes to see a plain and simple box. “I love you. I want to ask you to marry me.” He opened the lid to reveal a ring inside. My paws fell from my eyes and I just stared at the ring. I finally looked at Zen. He was smiling. “I love you. Be my wife. Let’s spend our lives together.” I must have looked confused because Zen laughed. “Of course I still love you. I guess I’m sad you felt you had to hide from me but it doesn’t make me love you less. I still want to be with you.”

“But… You said I ruined everything... “

He laughed again. “I said you ruined my plan.” He took the ring out and tried to fit it over what my ring finger would be, if I didn’t have paws. “I had this made to fit your finger. But now it won’t fit. We’ll have to think of something else for you to wear.”

“Are you serious, Zen? You really want to marry me? Even though I’ll always be like this?”

He put a hand on the side of my face. “I do. I’ll always love you. I got upset because I was planning to do this on the date you canceled. I overreacted. But when you texted tonight, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to see you and ask you. If you weren’t home, I was going to wait for you.”

I threw my arms around him and hugged him. “I’m sorry. I really am. I love you. I love you so much. I knew I couldn’t handle it if you ended up hating me for being a wolf.”

“Hate you? How could I ever hate you?”

I sat back again. “Zen, you’re always telling me men are beasts. That I should be careful around them. That they’re dangerous. But I’m a wolf sometimes. It doesn’t get much more beastly than that. I thought you’d find me disgusting.”

He took my paws in his hands. “I don’t find it disgusting. I’m sorry for saying it like that. I was worried about you. You’re so beautiful and I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. That’s all. I don’t think you’re a beast.”

I met his eyes. “Really, Zen? You don’t think I’m a beast?” I searched his eyes, wanting to see the truth in them.

“Really. It’s the honest truth. I love you and I could never see you as a beast.” I saw he was telling the truth and I rested my head on his shoulder, finally feeling some relief from all the stress. He rubbed my back which was a nice gesture but it felt strange when he rubbed my fur opposite to the way it laid.

I yawned, showing my teeth. I quickly covered my mouth, still a little worried Zen might dislike some of my wolf features. “Sorry. I’m really tired. I haven’t slept much. Can we talk tomorrow?” I didn’t want him to leave, not now that I finally had him but I felt like I would fall asleep on the spot.

“Come on. Let’s get you into bed.” Zen helped me up and put me into bed, It felt weird to be tucked in as a wolf but it made me laugh. He left the room and I figured he was leaving, though it made me sad he left without saying goodbye. But I heard my front door lock and Zen returned to my room. I must have looked confused again but he just climbed into bed next to me with a smile. “Let’s go to sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, worried I might be getting too happy.

He nodded and we settled in. He wrapped his arms around me and I fell asleep almost immediately. The sun was up when I woke up. I felt Zen still next to me and I rolled over. His arms had fallen during the night but I picked the arm up and draped it over me as I cuddled into his chest. I was human again and I fit much better in his arms. I felt him stir but I stayed still. I didn’t want to wake him up. But soon his eyes slid open and I smiled at him.

“Good morning,” I whispered.

He gave me a slow smile. “Good morning, future wife.”

It felt so good to hear that, I laughed. “Future husband. My Zen.” I kissed him lightly then snuggled up as close as I could get. But it made Zen stiffen a little. I looked up in concern.

“You’re too cute in the morning. Maybe you should be more careful. Otherwise I’ll get the wrong idea,” he said.

“Oh.” I took the hint and pulled away a little. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” I smiled up at Zen, hoping he understood that I hadn’t been trying to make things awkward for him.

*** _******************************_ ******************************************************************************************************************

> He caught my lips in a sudden, savage kiss. His arms pulled me back, as close as I could possibly be to his body. It made me gasp and I couldn’t keep up but I tried to return the kiss. At least at first but I felt myself start to get carried away and I pushed Zen back a bit.
> 
> “Zen! It’s okay. Maybe we should slow down, right? Let’s wait.” I smiled and kept my voice as pleasant as possible, even though he’d already ignited my desire.
> 
> Zen shook his head and kissed me again, taking my lip between his teeth and giving me a gentle nip. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to make you mine.”
> 
> My body shuddered at his words. “I-I want to be yours, Zen. You can have me whenever you want,” I whispered but I was also trying not to pressure him.
> 
> Zen pushed me on my back and sat over me. Ours faces were both red and I saw similar levels of passion in his eyes. Was he really ready?
> 
> “You touched yourself last time. I want to see it again.” His voice was deeper, more commanding than normal. It thrilled me and made my insides throb. I slowly reached down to put my hands in my pants. But he grabbed my wrist. “Take off your clothes. I want to see you do it.” I took in a shallow breath. How could he turn me on that much with just his words.
> 
> I pulled my shirt over my head. Slid my pants down. My simple underwear was all that remained. “Can you take the rest off?” I asked, wanting to touch myself but I needed Zen to be involved too. The front clasp of my bra made it somewhat easy for him to take it off and it joined the growing pile of clothing on the floor. I reached up and lifted his shirt over his head. God, his abs. I ran my fingers over his muscles and groaned quietly. I was so turned on. My panties were slid down my legs and I kicked them off the rest of the way. I looked at Zen, saw him flush at the sight of my body. My legs spread and I teased my entrance as I looked into his eyes. My eyelids fluttered as I pictured what Zen might do to me. I whined his name, pushing my fingers inside. “T-Touch me. Please,” I whimpered, though my fingers were speeding up, building my passion. I felt Zen lower himself and suddenly felt his lips on my breast. I moaned but tried to keep my voice in. My fingers moved deeper, my legs spreading. I wanted to feel him more but it was already working with just the little contact he was giving me. I heard him breathing heavily and he began to get more bold, licking me and trying different things, testing my reactions. I was getting close, my hips lifting off the bed as I tried to push my fingers deeper. I felt Zen move between my legs and he mouth left my breast. I voiced my displeasure at that but doubled my efforts. I knew I was close. Then I felt an extra finger touch me. I opened my eyes and saw Zen starting to touch me. “Touch me, Zen. Please!” I gasped. I slid my fingers inside and outside and he began to touch me. At first he followed my fingers, in and out. But then he pushed them aside and I felt a thrust inside me as he plunged his digits in. I gasped, groaned, felt my hips buck against him. I tried to look at him, to see his expression but I could barely move. I was so close. But I was desperate to touch him.
> 
> I fumbled blindly, reaching for him. Found my prize. He was hard already. I grabbed him as best as I could through his pants. I heard his breath hitch and his movements inside me faltered. I wished his pants weren’t in the way. Then I felt him try to lower them with one hand, his other still working on me. I helped as best as I could, though I was weak, as close as I was. When his clothing finally fell off enough, I pulled him closer, took his length in my hands. I moaned his name, stroking him in time with his finger movements. He soon learned what I would do and when and changed his rhythm. It pushed me over the edge and I tried not to yell in pleasure. I was gasping and my hands fell to my sides. I wanted to help him but I needed a few seconds to recover. Zen kind of looked at his fingers, at how wet they were. Would he want to continue now?
> 
> “Zen,” I panted, still recovering, “Do you want to keep going? We can… We can do whatever you want.”
> 
> He grinned and kissed me. “What do you want, babe? Tell me what you want me to do.”
> 
> I groaned, already feeling that heat return between my legs. There were condoms in my bedside table and I awkwardly reached to get one and hand it to him. As he opened it, I told him what I wanted. “I want you. I want you inside me. So deep inside me I’ll feel like I’ll break. So deep I won’t be able to move. I want you to fill me. Be inside me so I won’t ever want to leave you. I’ll desire you every minute, desperate for that pleasure only you can give me. Give me all of you. My body was made for yours.”
> 
> Zen shivered at my words and I felt him touch me again. But he was closer, hovering over me, ready to thrust in. I was already aching for it. Fingers weren’t enough anymore. He probably felt my walls twitch and he withdrew his fingers. He pressed himself against my entrance. I spread my legs more for him. He was slow as he moved in, stretching me to accommodate his width. It was tight. It hurt a little but I was probably squeezing him more. I could tell he was trying to be careful and gentle but I would never get used to it if he went that slowly.
> 
> “Zen. Faster. If you can.” I was whining, my voice needy. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss me. I distracted him with a passionate kiss, building his desire more. I lifted my hips, encouraging him to get on with it. It worked. Instinct probably took over for him. He was thrusting and it was uneven at first, awkward. It still felt good but he wasn’t practiced. But I preferred it that way. I was his first. I helped guide him with my hips. I knew he was getting close so I let myself go so that I wouldn’t be far behind. He came with a strangled noise and I used the pressure inside me to follow.

*** _******************************_ ******************************************************************************************************************

We fell back asleep for a few minutes. But then we started to stir, slowly. Zen knew to clean up, to take care of me. He carried me to the shower and we cleaned each other. After we got dressed again, I spotted the ring on the table next to my bed. I handed it to Zen.

“Now you can do it properly,” I said, blushing.

He kneeled before me. “I love you and I know I want to spend my life with you. I know I could never love anyone as much as I love you. You are my other half. Marry me.”

I was crying softly, out of happiness. “Of course, Zen. I want to be your wife.” He slipped the ring on my finger. It fit. I saw it glitter in the sun. I sank to the floor to hug him.

“I’ll make you happy forever. I promise.”

“Me, too, Zen. I’ll be the best wife you could ever imagine. Every day, I’ll find new ways to make you happy.”

“I’ll already be happy. Because we’ll be together every day.”


End file.
